The Power of Hope and Thankfulness

You know, I'm sitting here, thinking, and seeing all these posts with people sharing how thankful they are for things.

It reminds me, with every day that passes, that I never stop thinking how thankful I am for everything that I have.

With that said, I'd like to share my own story with you, in the hope that somehow, it may reach someone - anyone, who may find themselves in a similar situation...

I don't claim that this will work for everyone, but I am encouraging you to read this, and try to believe in it, and to see if it will help you, like it helped me.

A few years ago, I was in a very different place. A dark and harmful and negative place. a place I truly believed, that was too deep of a fall to every begin to hope of escaping from. A place that was buried me so deeply, so far down that no light could ever reach.

Still, despite this, feeling somehow, as if I was a person trying to survive - collapsed underneath the rubble of a life that collapsed upon me, streaks of light - of hope - filtered their way through the cracks of what was left of my life, and let me know that most importantly, I was still alive.  And because of that, if I was to survive, it was up to me to dig through this painful weight crushing upon me -upon my soul - if I was ever going to be able to breathe again.

The loss of nearly everything I had - all at once - was beyond almost anything I could process.

Job gone.
Money stolen (over 10k)
Belongings stolen.
Nearly homeless.
Completely penniless.
All people I surrounded myself with, trusted, and called friend, gone.
Repeatedly abused by those I loved.
Family life, not well.
Health, not well.

There are many times during this period of darkness, where I nearly allowed it to consume me.

I remember sitting there, in that tiny, pitch black room looking at what was left of my legacy - 6 plastic garbage bags of clothes and what was left of things that mattered - thinking, it would be very welcome to see my own Father again, if, for nothing else, to apologize for the shambles of what became of my life, and to beg his forgiveness for the life of dishonor and shame I've lived.

The pain was overwhelming. It was excruciating. In  -every- way, they were very much crushing bricks and broken glass tearing at the fabric, and essence, of every aspect of my life, my identity, and my soul.

One day, while feeling, or, rather being in a state of unfeeling, while I desperately attempted as I did every day after day - to process this despair, I suddenly, miraculously, decided that I no longer wanted to feel this way...

Because I had a revelation....

I somehow, suddenly, knew, and realized, that despite all of the hell I was surrounded with - that despite their best efforts to destroy me - no matter what was said or done - whatever they did - I knew 3 things...

1. I knew the truth of  everything that happened.
2. And I knew, Thank GOD, I was not them, nor, did I have to BE them.
3. I had HOPE, that if I were to try, someday, no matter how long it took, or pain I had to endure, or things I would have to do to survive, life would someday, be better.

And for me, from that VERY moment, and with every passing breath since, those 3 thoughts gave me peace, and, the strength and courage to, day by day, begin to scrape and claw at the layers of pain that crippled me.

To fight to survive...

It took time. It was not easy, and that is the truth.

Fortunately, for me, a hand emerged from the darkness, to help reach through the debris and pull me the rest of the way to the surface.  That hand helped me climb out of that hellhole. It dusted me off, and help me bandage my wounds and begin to mend, and heal my broken soul.

I am forever indebted to that kind soul, and dearest of friends.

This is a person who understands the truest definition and meaning of what the concepts of friendship and kindness are.

From the moment that I was fully capable of mending, and gaining the wisdom and understanding of how I found myself in that situation, I realized that, with good reason - it changed me.

It made me truly appreciate every day that the Lord has made.
It made me appreciate being able to see the Sun rise.
It made me appreciate...

LIFE.

It made me know how thankful that I truly am, and what it means to live, and to be a humble, blessed man.

I made the decision to embrace that life, and, to forevermore shed the remnants of the life I left behind.

It began with repairing the hellhole of negativity I fell into. To see IT. To bury IT, like IT tried to bury ME.

To see IT for EXACTLY what IT very nearly could have been, a one way trip to eternal damnation....

To begin this transformation, I decided that I would o longer allow any - ANY of those kinds of wicked people to have their way in controlling or infiltrating my life.

I very clearly realized also, that by doing this, there was no point of return. Why would I ?

I walked away, on my own two feet, and left that darkness, and people who live that way, forever behind, thanking God with every stride.

Forever...

Never
To
Ever
Return
To
That
Life
Again...

Funny thing...life....

Sadly sweet, and ironic now that I look at it....

All my life, I have prayed, every day, to find peace within my heart, just to know, at least once, before I see my Father's face, and Lord again, just to know what it felt like...only never, to ever find it.

I truly believed, that in my mind, I was destined to walk this Earth alone, and accept this fate for what it was.

Then, I took those first steps...

It was hard....

I was scared....

I wasn't ready....

I wasn't sure I believed in myself....

Can I do this....?

But ultimately, life has a way of not caring or changing for you....

So..the only thing anyone can do is...as the movie says "Get busy livin, or get busy dyin"

So, hearing that message loud and clear, chose...to LIVE !

I chose to WANT to find MY OWN identity!

And you know, as funny as it sounds, the more I discovered about who I am, the more I found myself liking who I saw, and who I was, and where I saw myself going! 

And the best news of all? I chose it for MYSELF, and, that nothing from my previous life could not stop me !

It was, and is, and will forever be MINE !

That felt GOOD ! I felt like, a sense of accomplishment, one that my previous life was not privy to, nor, could ever hope to reach, ever again....was washing over me...

It became a game to me. Every day, I woke up, and began to see what steps I could take to continue to build upon the day before, until those baby steps I took, became greater strides...I liked this feeling.

I wanted MORE.

I -DESERVED- MORE ! 

I FOUGHT to go out and GET MORE !

By MY rules !

By MY terms !

For MY life....

For MY goals..

For MY dreams...

MY WAY....

And remember when I was talking about life, and timing?

As soon I took those steps, God finally answered my prayers of so long ago...

HE sent ME an Angel....

A blessed, loving, beautiful Angel.....

My Celena.

Years I waited...

Years it took to live, and to believe, and to breathe again.

Now, here I am today, hand in hand, with my Soulmate.

Every day, and with every breath I take, my heart is overfilled with the purest JOY....

And now, as I reflect back on all of this path I've walked, to get from where I was, to where I am now, I have learned....

God was here waiting for me all along. He never moved, I did, away from HIM. All I had to do was reach for HIM, and HIS hand, like my friend who saved me was, HE would always be there waiting for me, no matter what others do, HE will always be here.

and finally....

Despite all I have pain and hell I have endured to get to this point in my life now I realize this...

I wouldn't change one damn thing.

It made me who I am today.

And, it led me into the arms of my Angel.

HOPE can, and will, work for you too. If you BELIEVE...

Believe in HIM.. Believe in the power of HOPE..

It's REAL, and it's waiting for you.

Right NOW. With every second that passes, is one second further you can be into writing your own story.

Today, is the first day of your new life.

YOUR next chapter.

How does YOUR story end?

What kind of tale will YOU tell?

Your soul wants to know. It NEEDS to know.

Your heart wants and needs for you to begin it's telling !

I share all of this with you in the hopes God blesses you, and asking HIM so that each of you 

find this kind of joy in peace in your own hearts, always.

May your hearts, and chapters always be full.

Until next time, Much Peace, Much Zen, Much Love.

Always,

-J

The REAL State of The World Address - EXPLICIT

I haaven't done one of these in awhile...

For the uninitiated....this is my escape valve. My release to get the thoughts that swirl, burn, and churn in my mind out on paper. To release a torrent of emotions I often find stirring within me.

I'm telling you now, I don't even remotely profess to claim that I am a perfect person, so, if you DO decide to stick around and read this, hang on to something, because this IS war. This is MY world. I've got my OWN arsenal of F bombs, and other colorful language, and I'm not afraid to launch them, at will, at any time, for ANY reason. This is your last chance to get the fuck out of here....

3....

2....

1....

Still here?

Game the FUCK on then ! Truth and sarcasm warheads fully loaded !

(Cranks up some Primal Fear to echo my mood. Yeah Carniwar should about do it)
 

And for those of you that would enjoy setting the tone and listening along with me, here you go. Remember, it has to be played LOUD for FULL effect ! 

Carniwar by Primal Fear http://youtu.be/Fv5fdorKfJo

Now then, in no particular order, in 1 take, off the top of my head....in my usual rambling style....

I DO realize this may very well be my LAST blog that I EVER write, because, after this, and all this shit that's been building in my mind that I've been packing down, storing behind my firewall, and after what I saw, and know that happened tonight....I CANT stop it now. It's breaking through, and I FULLY expect to be tossed into the back of a black fucking van and will NEVER be seen ever again....Eraser style.

I ALSO realize, and FULLY expect, that if, by some MIRACLE, that after I unleash the bombs within my mind now, that my Friends list will probably be dialed back down to zero. Who knows? Don't know, don't care. Never did. My words, my way. My life.

ROUND 1 - DING-DING ! 

After sitting here tonight, on the verge of the anniversary of the worst tragedy in American history, watching the torrent of lies spewing from the man claiming to represent us, and our country - our leader, our honest, strong, man who ALWAYS has OUR interests in mind, who cares about OUR survival, OUR countries own life-expectency,  one Barrack Hussein Obama - I find myself faced with one undeniable truth. More of an uncontrollable urge.

I want to punch Barack Obama in the fucking throat.

Liar. Liar. Liar...LIAR !!!

Do you think it's ANY coincidence that asshole is trying to stir this shit up on THIS day ????? It's SICKENING - attempting to leverage a national tragedy to further your own war-mongering agendas !!!

Moreso, because of WHO exactly is involved, but more on that in a bit...

I digress...

This is a man that came to ALL of us, with a promise - a world of difference and change, for all of us...

It was ALL a lie! This man, is absolutely NO different than the fucking dicktard George W Bush that came before him.

He came to us, and preyed upon our sensibilities, and our grief, climbing on top of the smoking building husks and charred rubble, bearing a megaphone in his hand, declaring to what was left of our shattered hearts that we will FIND the people that did this, and what did we do ?

Since he couldn't do shit to find Bin Laden, We went after Saddam Hussein and his phantom WMDs to save face.

Now, here we are, over a decade later, and not a damn thing has "changed" at all. The only "change" that's left is what's left of the DOLLARS that used to line our hard working people's pockets, and now, change, and some lint - if that, is all that's left as we spiral to our Economic freefall, or go over cliffs, whichever way you wanna go.. An express elevator to Hell, goin down ! 

Thats not all thats gone down. In fact, our lives, and the "Freedoms" we all used to enjoy, are a distant echoed pitiful shell and semblance of what they used to be, now that we know that WE spent BILLIONS of our own money, that

we could not even possibly afford - our own FUTURE - to spy ON OURSELVES!!!!!.

Does ANY of that sentence cause anyone to stop, bend over, and puke their guts out like it does me ???

Does that make ANYONE else want to just kick the living fucking shit out those responsible for doing this????

I am a Pacifist, I hate guns. I've never even really shot one, maybe a BB gun once when I was a kid, but I will be DAMNED if this doesn't make me want to reach for the nearest rifle and take back some Street Justice....

This man, our President, just stood before us, and LIED to us. LIED to our FACES.  Why? How? Let me explain.

Tomorrow, is 9/11. 3000 people died. More soldiers are dying by the minute to pay for this war, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. The death toll, in ALL of these fucking wars is CLIMBING. almost 5,000 more. That's over 8000 people ! 8,000 of OUR people ! DEAD vs 1400 ???

My family just completed the Walk for the Fallen in Tampa. When you go, you get to SEE the wives pushing the empty strollers, and the kids who have missing parents. You SEE the soldiers names, their faces, and know about the lives that were SHATTERED under the BULLSHIT LIES that they were FORCE FED to believe. Seeing those things, seeing faces go with names. You cant change the channel, it CHANGES YOU !!!

We tell our young men and women, go over and eat sand ! Pay for our lies with YOUR blood !Go find them WMD's. Go eat some roadside bombs for your troubles. Fuck....they're just kids, blown apart, shredded by shrapnel in a blinding flash of light and then dead !!

All for what????

For a country that doesnt give one fucking breath of care, or squirt of piss, for OUR country and OUR well being ! 

Countries that dont even WANT us there !!!!

But the REALITY is...the REAL reason ALL of this shit is happening IS and will ALWAYS be ------

THE OIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

BIG FUCKING OIL !!!!!!!!

There's MONEY involved !!!!!!!!!

Don't believe me???

We ALWAYS LIE to our soldiers and tell them it's their DUTY and HONOR and ALL that BULLSHIT we have to say to them to get them to rally behind a cause, to BELIEVE IN. To TRUST the man shipping them off to DIE under some GRAVE notion that the WORLD is in IMPENDING DOOM if they DONT go! We train them to blindly follow orders, never question, and be bred and ready to go be a meat shield, and SPLATTER their blood across the sand, while they smile behind a TV camera...

BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!

We tell them it's the RIGHT thing to do. It's the HUMANITARIAN thing to do !!!!

In SYRIA, 1,400 people died ! OH NO!!!!!

Of course they did you fuckwad !! It's a CIVIL war ! KEY WORDS - CIVIL WAR !!!!!!! Meaning, it's NOT OUR FUCKING BUSINESS, ITS THEIR OWN, INTERNAL SQUABBLING !!! LET them blow each other up and good fucking riddance! 

America is NOT the World Police !!! It's NOT our job to settle every single counties internal disputes. Maybe the twisted logic is, they finally gave up with this one, and realize its too fucked up to be fixed, so like a plague of locusts, they'll go fuck up someone else's lands....

I listened to his speech...1,400 people....and I sit and LISTEN for them to TRY to twist the fucking knife of and pull our heartstrings to do EVERYTHING they can to get us to care on the speech he gave..."the boy couldn't breathe because of the gas..." FUCK THAT !!!!

I do NOT want ANYONE to get hurt. I do NOT want anyone to die - EVER, but let's compare some REAL fucking numbers....

So, Syria, we have our finger on the LAUNCH button, READY to press it, DYING to press it like a little kid with a shiny toy, over 1,400 people and 100,000 more in a CIVIL WAR -

Meanwhile,in the OTHER part of the world, in Darfur, Africa..

OVER 300,000 PEOPLE HAVE DIED

AND

1.3 MILLION MORE ARE DISPLACED AND DYING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY !!!!!!!!!!

So you're telling me we're putting on the SUPERMAN SAVE THE WORLD costume and BOMBING their country over that, and we do NOTHING over THIS GENOCIDE ???????????????????????????????????

Babies being tossed into the air, landing on bayonets, free-roaming rape mobs, villages being burned to the ground...we ALLOW that to exist ???

WHY !?!?!?

THEY HAVE NO OIL. There is o money in it. 

So....

FUCK THEM they're ON THEIR OWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides, they're just stupid black people killing each other, they're not "terrorists" that pose an IMMEDIATE threat to our country...RIGHT ??? Just a bunch of useless, ignorant, useless black people...RIGHT ???

The world is better off without a few hundred thousand innocent Africans isn't it ??? 

Fuck this fucking world.... no WONDER 250,000 PEOPLE WILLINGLY VOLUNTEERED TO GO ON A ONE WAY MISSION TO LIVE ON MARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Facts...

HOW THE FUCK BAD DO THINGS HAVE TO GET BEFORE THIS COUNTRY BEGINS TO PULL ITS HEAD OUT OF ITS ASS ???????????????????????????????????????

You want ANOTHER example? TRY THIS...

Ripped directly from www.actionagainsthunger.org

Global hunger now afflicts nearly a billion people worldwide. Severe acute malnutrition, however, is the more immediate killer: it threatens the lives of 19 million children. Every year at least 3.5 million of them die from malnutrition-related causes.

3.5 MILLION DEAD
3.5 MILLION DEAD
3.5 MILLION DEAD
3.5 MILLION CHILDREN DEAD
DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD

A BILLION AFFECTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we're worried about 1,400 people that WANT to kill themselves ???????????????

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I could, if I could. I swear I'd make them beg to see God !!!!!!!!!!! I'd hurt them all BADLY !

I'd make them scream once, for EVERY child that DIES EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

25,000 a DAY !!! EVERY DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING HOLIDAYS !!!!!!!

870,000,000 (870 MILLION) people in this WORLD DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT AS I TYPE THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You leaders NEED to get on your fucking KNEES and BEG forgiveness for trying this shit you mother fuckers !!! 

PRAY God doesn't strike you fucking DEAD where you breathe you LYING BASTARDS !!!!!!!!

We only care because there's oil. We care because newsflash - this entire country sucks the Arab Nations dicks. In fact, we're getting Eiffel-Towered by the Middle East and China in a proverbial Economic and Energy tag team, and they don't care about sloppy seconds, and neither do we! We just keep smiling and coming (ugh!) back for more, and more and more and more, while our future just keeps slipping further and further away...

Our country is so hopelessly dependent upon Big Oil. That, without it, we do not have the alternative energy infrastructure to support ourselves. One day without Big Oil, and suddenly our entire country GRINDS TO A FUCKING HALT and our President KNOWS IT. If that DOES happen, WE become THE WALKING DEAD ! And that, and that ALONE is the reason why we continue this facade of caring about what the fuck happens with 1400 nameless people, that we would not otherwise give 2 shits about, like they are our best friends, halfway around the world.

Hell, we never gave a shit when Iraq gassed their own people back then ! I watched the videos of the Kurds dying, and we did NOTHING then !!!!!

The ONLY time we actually took action is EXACTLY when Hussein lit the Kuwaiti oil fields on fire as a Scorched Earth policy !

The FIRST thing we did when we set foot on their soil was SURROUND THE OIL FIELDS !!! Coincidence ????

Look for terrorists? Nope ! PROTECT-THE-OIL !!!  Why? Because you and I can't afford to get buttfucked by the Arab Shieks anymore than we already are, by paying $10 a gallon or whatever exorbitant amount of ass-raping they want to charge us if something like that happened !

Hell they do it now ! The SLIGHTEST thing goes wrong with 1 oil platform out in the Gulf after a storm, and prices fly so fast towards $5 a gallon, hell, it almost makes looking like "going in dry" seem like an inviting alternative...

Because of these atrocities, we can NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY GUISE OR PRETENSE, for ANY REASON, EVER ATTEMPT TO EVEN BREATHE THE WORDS "WE ARE DOING THIS FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD FOR MORALISITIC OR HUMANITARIAN REASONS".

The VERY second those words come out of someone in the White House's mouth it makes me seriously believe that in the very next second, they are going to spontaneously combust into a pile of fucking ashes from the bolt of lightning that will rain down upon them....we have no business ever attempting to utter those words in the course of Human Civilization, as a country, ever again...

Now, back to some more salvos of reality....time to let them fly...

These ARE only only SOME examples of the GLOBAL CRISIS we're ALL facing.

The ENVIRONMENT
The EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM
Global VIOLENCE
Violence in our OWN country
HOMELESSNESS
UNEMPLOYMENT
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
IMMIGRATION
OUR WELFARE SYSTEM
CARE FOR OUR ELDERLY
SOCIAL SECURITY SOLVENCY
THE FISCAL CLIFF
STOP SUCKING CHINA'S ECONOMIC DICK
THE ENERGY CRISIS
POVERTY
OUR GLOBAL COMPETITIVENESS AND REBUILDING OUR COUNTRY
OUR ECONOMY
AMERICAN PRIDE AND REESTABLISHING OUR GLOBAL IDENTITY

There are a BILLION things I CAN think of off the top of my head that are ALL TRUE EMERGENCIES that we MUST ACT UPON RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND !!!

OUR future, our CHILDRENS future, our COUNTRIES future DEMAND IT !!!!

And speaking of DEMANDS...

Our allies have told us (as they did before) - NO WAR !
Our OWN CITIZENS have said NO WAR !

And yet, EXACTLY as before, Bush plunged us into WAR with NO EXIT STRATEGY IN SIGHT !!!

Remember when that dickclown John McCain said, "Yeah I see the US being in Iraq for the next 100 years"...

What the FUCK do you think THAT would cost us ???????????????

And speaking OF cost....

RIGHT NOW. THiS SECOND, no THIS second, no THIS second, no THIS (I can't give you an ACCURATE number because it changes SO FUCKING FAST)

Here is how much the UNITED STATES has SPENT ON WAR

Taken straight from

http://nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We have spent nearly 1.5 TRILLION DOLLARS on war !

You don't get it do you? Here's a little GRAPHICAL reference of EXACTLY what 1 Trillion dollars looks like...

http://www.pagetutor.com/trillion/index.html

Now...multiply THAT by 2 !!!! ALL FOR WAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are SOME examples of what a Trillion dollars could actually buy !!!!

Education system? Fixed !
Economy? Fixed !
Our future ? - Fixed !

http://www.kiplinger.com/article/business/T043-C000-S001-14-ways-to-spend-1-trillion.html

Broken down, another way - FOR EVERY SINGLE HOUR THIS WAR GOES ON, AMERICAN TAXPAYERS ARE SPENDING 11 MILLION DOLLARS TO PAY FOR IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you saying, fuck you Joe, you're being irrational, you're pissed off, you're angry, fuck Facebook drama blah blah blah. Well guess the fuck what?? This ISNT any kind of drama bitches, this IS REALITY !!!!!

Let me say again...

When YOU wake up and rub the crusties out of your eyes and blink twice, we ALL have paid over a HUNDRED MILLION dollars by the time the Sun rises ! Day after day after day after day...

Multiply that by a 100 years....and HOW much is that ???

FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You could build a fucking bridge made out of dollar bills, and make a lap around the entire Milky Way, and back again ! (but on a side note, that WOULD make a bad ass Mario Kart track ! Yeah I'm funny too. I'm like that.)

Torture...

And speaking of, if ANYONE needs it, it's the COWARDS that spy on us, and STEAL from us !!!!

You got that waterboard handy? Take a seat. I'll bring the towel..

(Dont forget to bring a Towel ! - Towlie)

I'm TELLING you, If NONE of these words stir up ANY emotion in you, and don't send you scrambling for your OWN "Launch the rockets Red button" then nothing the fuck will !

If Charlie Sheen launches Torpedos of Truth, then I launch salvos of Nuclear Fucking Armageddon !!!

I'm not into conspiracy shit. I'm not Illunimati. When it comes to the issues of our country, I'm into real, meat and potatoes, see it, breath it, feel it know it facts.

And now, here's some for you to try to ram down your throat....

Those "rebels" that Syria gassed? You know the ones that we're HELPING???

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/sep/9/obama-administration-now-downplays-al-qaedas-stren/?utm_source=RSS_Feed&utm_medium=RSS


AL
MOTHER
FUCKING
QAEDA

Yeah THAT AL FUCKING QAEDA !!!

The ones that knocked down OUR buildings !!!

The same ones that did THIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Mz0_x7313I

And caused THIS !!!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JzKI9TBR-XQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJzKI9TBR-XQ

TO US !!! 

To people YOU may know! To people YOU may have loved !!! 

The ones that killed DOUBLE the amount they "suffered" !!!

The INNOCENT MEN, WOMEN, and CHILDREN that DIED on THAT day. You know, the one that, by the rights, and definition of ANY REAL man with ANY SHRED OF DECENY would hold in COMPLETE RESPECT and NEVER attempt to be used as a FUCKING BARGAINING CHIP TO LEVERAGE YOUR OWN AGENDAS AND START A FUCKING WAR !!!!!!!!!!!!

Are OUR OWN PEOPLE not at the VERY LEAST as EQUAL in IMPORTANCE to STRANGERS in a FOREIGN LAND that are in the middle of a CIVIL WAR that has NOTHING TO DO WITH US !!

Our President, and his advisers, have LONG claimed the strong "rebel" links to Al Qaeda, and THIS iS WHO WE ARE HELPING ???

It reminds me of an episode of South Park - The one where they used Al Qaeda to get rid of all the Jersey Shore bitches.. Only, this time, I'm not laughing.

The AMERICAN people have spoken in ONE VOICE and they said...

STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT YOU ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I so VERY much hate you now Obama. I DID vote for you orginally, but now, I see you for EXACTLY what you are. THIS, on this SACRED of days, crossed the FINAL line with me !

I LONG for, and BEG I live long enough to see the day our country invokes and uses a THREE party system, to begin to open TRUE MEANINGFUL dialogue and POSITIVE change, ones we TRULY CAN REALLY BELIEVE IN !

Fuck you. Fuck yourself. Fuck EVERY word you've said. I pray I never have to hear one word come out of your deceitful  mouth ever again.

Black Vans coming to get me ? Fuck you too ! 

It WON'T change REALITY !!!

Even though he's a pussy, ask Snowden about that...

You can't run from the demons you create. You can only face them, and make amends for them, and beg forgiveness.

So here it is - 

America created Al Qaeda.

Al Qaeda wants death to America.

America helps Al Qaeda....

Reality, if Obama has his way.

I need to sleep now, but so much more lingers inside my veins.

I swore I would hang up the cape, and I did. I kept my word. I prefer to live my life that way.

I KNOW it's only a matter of time before SOME ignorant fucking bastard blows this world straight to Hell, but until then, I am perfectly content to love my family as hard as I can, and just try my best to keep it inside, and let it all go.

I TRY NOT to think nearly as much as I used to, but DAMN IT !!! On TODAY of ALL days, when I know what I know, and I see what I saw, and I'm ALREADY on the edge over this bullshit Syria thing, this sent me over the fucking cliff, and I felt the need to at least express myself and SAY something !!!

I want you all to know, that I LOVE my country, even though it IS FUCKED UP.

The truth is though, I believe, as a country, we're already there, nearing the end, 1 foot in the grave, and the other on a banana peel, as a global power, and as members of Humanity.

I want to run for office. I've thought about it. I want to do good for this world. I want it to be the things I KNOW it CAN be. Things that are buried so far out of sight and out of mind, that we have nearly forgotten about. How to be a strong,

Focused country, placing primary focus on our OWN needs FIRST ! USA for USA !!!

If elected,  would have NO problemcalling them ALL lying bastards and telling them all, on behalf of the American people - 

GO FUCK YOURSELVES !!!!!!!!

YOU'RE DONE !!!!!!

That would be a change I'm sure we ALL could believe in !

I know though, if I did, I WOULD end up in a ditch or shallow grave somewhere,simply because I cannot, and will not, EVER allow lying people to exist, or to get away with murder,

like they currently are. 

I would make they all swallow their fucking tongues Hannibal Lecter style, and smile while I did it, and wave good riddance to their kind and be thankful that was 1 less piece of shit politician we have to suffer with!

Man, I can't even catch a breath. It's true. It really IS true. This country is so fucked !!!

So hopelessly fucked !!!

It's entire mindset is fucked - valuing entertainers and entertainment over education. Worshiping entertainers like Gods, yet firing scientists...

http://money.cnn.com/2013/09/03/news/economy/science-budget-cuts/index.html

Meanwhile, China gets stronger.

Our country can't compete with them.

Our debt to them grows exponentially by the minute...

It's like.....an old, struggling boxer, being pummeled into a bloody mass on the ropes, with 1 knee on the ground, and China, grinning ear to ear, is landing shot after shot, haymakers, pounding us into economic submission with every blow....pointing at our children in the crowd, and saying....

"YOU ARE NEXT!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQqGGgEJHqk

At the end of the day, when I go turn my light off for the night and take responsibility for the choices in life I have made, and things I knowingly have done as a man, I have to face those things and make amends for them. That's my choice in life. 

Still, I do know, and am painfully aware, that no matter how sterling, or noble my words may appear to me, how how well-meaning or intended they are, ultimately, in the grand scheme of History, I know they change nothing. 

My purpose for writing this, is to attempt to share what I believe is truth with my readers, and to generate an emotional response within them. To get them to cognitively and logically, process the events and facts presented before you. To proverbially rip you out of "The Matrix", and to get your synapses firing at full capacity. To be just one more step towards being self-aware, and aware of the surroundings around you. To get you to take off your rose-colored glasses, that you hide behind, and to help you re-aim the virtual turrets at the TRUE enemies we, as a country, are facing...you know who they are, and so do I ....

I ask you to mentally join me in taking the steel-toed boots to the ribs of those Oppressors, and to live just one more day in complete harmony and balance with Reality, and your worlds around you. 

Maybe you will find a way to make progress with the events I've explained here. I am content in living a life of peace with my family. Yet, the reality we face does not change. It remains the same....there are so many more things wrong than I've posted, and so much more work to be done...it will take lifetimes and generations of our people to even begin to turn it around...no matter which path of action they decide to take...

Time to wrap this up...

THE FUCK LIST

Before I give myself this sweet little nightcap, I'll close this because I gotta go make the bacon in a few hours, but on occasion, I like to close these posts out by handing out some awards for individuals who display absolutely lethal amounts of Fucktardery for one reason or another. 

So, without further ado, in no particular order....

The FUCK list of 9/10/13

FUCK OBAMA
FUCK AL QAEDA
FUCK JOHN KERRY
FUCK SYRIA
FUCK WAR
FUCK LYING
FUCK THE NSA
FUCK PEOPLE THAT FUCK OUR FUCKING FUTURE INTO OBLIVION
FUCK PEOPLE THAT HARM OUR CHILDRENS FUTURE
FUCK BANKRUPTING OUR COUNTRY
FUCK CHEMICAL WEAPONS
FUCK FOX NEWS
FUCK SARA PALIN AND PEOPLE WHO STILL LISTEN TO HER (No wait, I think there's videos out there. Somebody already did that I think)
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO HATE PEACE AND DONT FOCUS ON REAL PROBLEMS IN OUR COUNTRY
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO WANT WAR MORE THAN PEACE AND REJECT THE WILL OF OUR PEOPLE
FUCK INTOLERANCE
FUCK PEOPLE WHO DONT FACE THEIR PROBLEMS
FUCK PEOPLE WHO STEP OVER THE BODIES OF PEOPLE IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY TO CLOTHE, EDUCATE, HIRE, AND SUPPORT PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES WHILE OURS BURNS TO THE GROUND
FUCK PEOPLE WHO RANT WITHOUT FACTS OR PROVIDING POSITIVE RECOMMENDATIONS TO IMPROVE THINGS

(on the BITCHSLAP list - for those who haven't quite made it to the FUCK list yet)

JOSH FREEMAN ! GET IT TOGETHER MAN !!! For Fuck's sake  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And lastly, my ALL STAR LIFETIME PERMA-FUCK LIST !

FUCK BEN AFLECK - (sorry Ben, he's a nice guy, but I had to - I have standards !)
FUCK ROB ZOMBIE - (it's s a standing rule, I can't change it now)
FUCK RYAN REYNOLDS - (he has a black mark on his soul he can NEVER wash away!!!)
and now, introducing NEW lifetime members, lets congratulate -

FUCK GEORGE W BUSH
FUCK BARACK H OBAMA


And ONE last full-on-with-a-fully-drawn-breath-let-out-in-one-Earth-shattering-drawn-out-epically-long FUCK to....

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK BRING BACK FUTURAMA DON'T LET IT END !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  =(

Whoever is still reading this....well...yay ! I love you.. I promise I'll try to get back to the Zen stuff next time...maybe. =)

But for now, not so much...

Every once in awhile, as a drunk, yet talented virtuoso dumbass once said...

"YOU'VE RELEASED THE FUCKING FURY !"

http://www.break.com/video/ugc/yngwie-malmsteen-threatens-to-kill-airline-passeng-331977

Til next time, I would like to ask you, my readers, to hug and kiss the ones you love. The ones who are truthful, honest, kind, and loving that you CAN depend on. Those people who make your world, no matter how big, or small, that it may be, the BEST reality that

It CAN be. Don't look to silver screens or up in the sky for heroes. Look at the people around you instead. It's ok to shut out the darkness of the world, but still try to be the very best light in this oblivion, that you can be. Every day above ground is a good one!

So, for now, just know, that God loves you, and so do I.

And while we're at it, I pray that He helps us all, if He deems it right to do so.

-J

The Zimmerman / Martin Trial

The Zimmerman / Martin Trial

What to say about this trial ?

The honesty behind it is, today is a new day. A boy is still dead, and another man walks free. Nothing is changing those facts. This, is reality.

However that's not the greatest tragedy in all of this.

The sadder reality is, as soon as the last microphone is packed away, and the last satellite is dissembled, and the last news van drives off into the sunset, we, Americans, will forget about this, and as the days pass, only in Trivial Pursuit, or possibly documentaries on the Lifetime channel will we ever remember the names Travon Martin or George Zimmerman, or anything regarding this case, ever again.

At best, they may be the answer to some Jeopardy question one day. Sad, but still true. Today, we are less than 1 day removed from the verdict, and our collective memories have already begun to decay on this subject, and will continue to perpetually do so. In time, we will no longer remember the names George Zimmerman and Travon Martin.

Why does this happen ? It happens because we are a country comprised of chronic A.D.D-afflicted people - maybe more like self-inflicted, if we're checking for accuracy here...

So now that the trial is over, what do we do now ? What do we have to talk about ? Don't worry my countrymen, for as long as the sun rises, and there's at least on Kardashian doing something, somewhere, Americans will still have meaning in their lives, and somehow, find a will to persevere and push on with their tragic lives.

If you really care to see how deep this line of thinking, this "rabbit hole" goes, consider this - as time applies it's healing to these collective wounds we face, you can apply this same kind of mentality to ANY subject we face in this country. Yes, that's right, I said you can apply this apathetic type mentality to anything that is facing us.

So what does this all mean? It means that tomorrow, no one is going to ever care, and nothing, nothing meaningful, tangible, or relevant will ever get accomplished regarding this subject ever again.. No names will be remembered in the memory of history.

We only care about bouncing from topic to topic, pretending to care about whatever subject de-joure it is at the time to somehow convince ourselves that for that fleeting moment (as the news cameras are rolling) that we truly DO care, and have all along, even though when we turn the lights off and are alone at night, that we know all of that is complete bullshit. We only care about immediate things that keep our worlds spinning by any means necessary.

The sooner a person realizes this, the sooner their own minds get freed from "The Matrix"That is why I elected, of my own free will and choosing, not to choose (and as the song goes, "You still have made a choice")

I've decided the only thing I wish to do in this life is to love my family with all my existence, and to love my Savior Jesus Christ the same way. Nothing else matters. I consider this to be a good life, with meaning.

Everything else in this world changes, and everything else is subjected to the same atrophic apathy that IS DESTROYING Humanity, and Civilization as we know it.

Apathy is the Devil, and it's here, and walking among us.

-J

THE NSA THING...

Hi all ! I've been wanting to share some thoughts about this for awhile, so, here we go...

The NSA Thing...

A preemptive word of warning - I'm tired as hell right now, and I always write these things off the top of my head, in only 1 take, so, if I ramble? Well...KMA lol

Let's get started ! 

The above image is taken from the "Right Now" video from Van Halen. It is from the "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" album which was released in 1992.

Right Now, Joe Foster is thinking Sammy Hagar is a fucking prophet...

And just because I think I could spice my blog up with some tunes, here's the link to the video below, for your listening pleasure...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMV-fenGP1g

In fact, upon watching this video tonight, over a couple decades later, SO MUCH of the content of it is COMPLETELY relevant today, for ALL of us. Old men and oil companies are in control etc...

Right Now, we find ourselves in the year 2013, and are just NOW asking ourselves, what, when, how and WHY did our OWN government do this, to be able to have the ability to monitor US - and become Big Brother? How DARE they invade MY privacy?

To people like that. I don't really know exactly the proper way to respond. I think I might try by dropping a pretty heavy, but relevant quote on them, my favorite quote, of ALL time...it goes a little something like this...

"Most people are on the world, not in it-- having no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them-- undiffused separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate. " - John Muir

Right Now, those not IN the know, are probably wondering, "what the hell does he mean by saying that?:

What I'm trying to say is - Unless a person actually cares enough to understand and be completely aware of his world, his surroundings and environment - at ALL times, then you're part of the problem - not the solution. 

So, if this applies to you, do me, and those of us with functional synapses a favor - sit down, shut up, and GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY of those of us who are able to form cognitive thought patterns, and try to make sense of things, and just MAYBE, think of a way out of this disasterpiece we've gotten ourselves so deeply mired into... 

In all honesty though, given the generalized dis-associative state our attention-deficit-afflicted nation is symbiotically entwined with, I feel that we've now crossed past the 11th hour - the "Zero Barrier", and there's no looking back - the "asteroid" is GOING to hit us. (#Armageddon) Too many minds would need to be awakened, in too little time, and I just don't see our own country or world rising above the largest plague of Mankind - the Apathy that has us all BY THE BALLS...

I digress for a moment, you know, while I'm here passing out Sainthoods, I may as well give a few to the Wachowski brothers, because damn it, they too seemingly are able to divinate the divine when they shared the story and concept of "The Matrix" with us, which is, in nearly EVERY way, the absolute, complete, and tragically realistic analogy of our daily lives...... "The Matrix Is Real" 

People are plugged in. Clueless. Automatons. Perfectly content to live ignorantly in bliss, rather than understand and comprehend or improve their own conditions or the worlds around them. 

Why am I saying this? Simple. We have our entire country up in arms screaming about the fact that we're SURE that our Government (aka. "Mr. Smith") knows EXACTLY what we're doing - what we're watching on TV, what we're eating, where we're going, or what kinda porn we're watch....er just kidding..honest !

- A quick sidebar - 

No knocks on my door - yet. Though, sometimes, I do wonder what would happen if I were able to openly share my views, face to face, with the Feds. Now the movie ERASER is coming to mind...."You've just been ERASED."

Damn. I watch too many movies....

- End sidebar -

So anyways, let's see if we can get some panties un-bunched. For my fellow countrymen all up in arms, let's start here...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Patriot_Act

I know you probably didn't read it, but that's OK, I knew you wouldn't, so being the great and helpful guy that I am, I'll explain it to you...

This is a law that the BEST PRESIDENT THE USA HAS EVER HAD (yes I'm kidding again, I could NEVER say that with a straight face) - George Bush signed into LAW in the year TWO-THOUSAND-AND-ONE.

So, for the past 12 years (and now we know more) our Men In Black (also another good movie), have had the proverbial FREE REIGN to come and go and monitor pretty damn as much of our personal lives as we see fit!  

So I guess I should ask, where the HELL was all the Altruistic bitching THEN? Queue the sound of crickets....

Now, I know most of us are pissed about this (NOW), but seriously, did you EVER TRULY BELIEVE, for ONE SINGLE MOMENT, that they would, or have EVER imposed ANY kind of boundaries or restrictions upon the limits of their jurisdictions into our lives?

Are you REALLY THAT naive? How's that plug in the back of your head workin out for ya?

"Wow! I know Kung-Fu!..."

If you need a refresher, go look at "Prophet Sammy's" image again.....

Yes, I do know, it WOULD have been NICE, to have had the luxury of the government sitting down with our own Human Rights groups and allowed / afforded us some form of discussions about what individual freedoms WE WOULD and WOULD NOT be willing to sacrifice or keep, but to do that just isn't feasible. Not in this kind of playing minefield. Not these days...things are different. Things are globally DANGEROUS.

Another quick, but relative digression - I've sat back and watched all the cutesy Memes about Gun control, and one of them sticks in my mind, which the promotes gun advocacy with a message that says something about "use guns, because when do you think criminals will ever play fair" or something very similar to that. 

So the question to ask, which was already answered by the actions of "THE MAN"  is  - "THEY DON'T" and because of that, we're doing it "OUR WAY" your way is IRRELEVANT. Now sit down, shut up, and go back to being a happy little automaton in the Matrix. Know your role, and shut your mouth !  

The point here is, you CAN'T announce to the world that you're listening to this channel or that channel, or monitoring this frequency or that for Terroristic activity. You don't go into a warzone / jungle or crime infested building and yell out something like - "Hey bad guys, are ya in here?" Guess what?

They're NOT gonna answer you.... #shocker !

So....since 2001, when the ENTIRE WORLD CHANGED (meaning, we DONT live in that kind of happy-go-lucky-everyone-is-shiny-and-happy-kind-of-world anymore, where everything was cutesy and happy, and only those mean people overseas that NO ONE CARED ABOUT blew each other up, and we didn't have a care in the world, only to make sure we didn't miss our favorite programs on TV - we HAVE to ask...

What in the blue FUCK do we do to stay 1 step ahead of these bastards?

And so, the government gave us PRISM...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PRISM

and before that it was NarusInsight...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narus_(company)

and before THAT it was Carnivore...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnivore_(software)

For those actually educated enough to BE ATTUNED to this world, do I REALLY need to stop and tell you that even before THAT, there were OTHER systems used to monitor us, and to keep us in control?

You're smart enough to know this has been something happening from the beginning of our formation until now, right ?

My point is, this isn't something that just sprung up and happened overnight...

Our enemies are NOT overseas anymore. They're HERE. They're all around us. That's OUR REALITY. And now, it's actually time to put down the remote and CARE, because it actually affects YOU. It affects ME. It affects us ALL.

In THIS world, today, to attempt to survive this kind of guerrilla warfare, you HAVE NO CHOICE other than to partake in these kinds of NECESSARY EVILS to attempt to stay 1 step AHEAD of your enemy - just like a global Chessmatch. Any good Chess player knows this is the best way to defeat your opponent.

The BIG problem with that is - our opponent(s) know, and are actively doing that to us, Right Now, too !

Keep in mind, that employing these EXACT techniques, the monitoring of transmissions etc, were DIRECTLY responsible for assisting us in the capture AND EXECUTION of Osama Bin Laden !

And now, let me tell you, there is not ONE person in the ENTIRE WESTERN HEMISPHERE that didn't CHEER when we got the news that he was double tapped !

What happened then? Be honest with yourself. For a MOMENT you felt SAFER. You felt more SECURE. And maybe, just for a SECOND your mind flashed back and thought you could go back to it being September 10th, 2011 again. Things would once again be RIGHT in this world, and we could wake up from this incessant NIGHTMARE we're all in....

But NO, with 1 fell swoop, these fucking PRICKS Assange, Snowden and their assorted collection of douche bags have attempted to level the ENTIRE playing field and allow these fucking terrorists an EASIER time to plan and plot at how many of OUR loved ones they're going to be able to KILL.

With 1 fell swoop, that bastard ELIMINATED YEARS of collective time, money, secrecy and effort and nullify the GOOD things those systems have done AND POTENTIAL harm and deaths they could have protected us ALL from in our future.... 

What did General Alexander say? BECAUSE OF THOSE SYSTEMS they were ABLE to INTERCEPT (meaning takes place before hand) / THWART FIFTY PLUS attacks ! Attacks that, God knows, would have PROBABLY killed exponentially HIGHER than the events at The World Trade Center, and that day - 9-11, is a day that is FOREVER burned into our collective psyche. A scar that will NEVER heal. What could POSSIBLY be WORSE than THAT kind of DAMAGE ? 

Do we REALLY want to find out ? Why not ask the people at the Boston Marathon...

Do we want to find out when they have a NUCLEAR SUITCASE to open in the middle of Times Square...?

Listen to me, you DONT defeat these BASTARDS by offering them a fucking flower, or by using strong language ! You've GOT to use these kinds of clandestine systems to create an advantage! You HAVE to be able to be the one to outwit, outplay, and outlast your opponent!! (yes Survivor IS my favorite show)....

Personally, I APPLAUD the President for using these systems, because I know, for as much of a DOUCHE REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS ALIKE CAN BE, at the END OF THE DAY - OUR PRESIDENT WOULD PICK UP A GUN OR PRESS A BUTTON TO DEFEND US ALL OR DIE TRYING TO KEEP US ALL SAFE. That's his fucking job! He's doing it, but in a way that our world climate and environment created FOR him, NOT because he ARBITRARILY sought out, of his OWN ACCORD, to USE. Get the DIFFERENCE? 

Now, this brings me to this little shitstain Snowden....

Man...I've been in IT for 26 years, and I've run across EXACTLY the type that he is - the smug, pompous, know it all, elitist, want to be self righteous and important, firebrand and legend in his OWN mind that he WISHES to be...he's NOT. He's not "Neo" though, I'm positive he wishes he was.

Ironically enough, there's IS a part of me, that incessantly yearns, in ALL things, for the TRUTH, that CAN see the merit in the INFORMATION itself, but his actions, CLEARLY DO NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS.

At the end of the day, the dissemination of his information and dossiers will DEFINITELY do our country, AND OUR SAFETY, more HARM than good. In the end, his whisteblowing is a ruse of his own.

So what can we DO about it? Critical systems and government departments will ALWAYS be prone to user intervention. Maybe one day, to paraphrase another Keanu movie, perhaps government employees will manditorily be "wetwired" to our sensitive systems, and restricted from classified information. Maybe we will have the ability to "mindwipe" agents that go rogue...who knows....they're already working on it....hey, it COULD happen!

So let's see now, where is this coward anyway ? Right Now, he's sitting ( last I checked he was in Russia, (giving our secrets to our NUCLEAR ARMED BEST FRIENDS THE RUSSIANS - a truly awesome thing in of itself!!!! I couldn't be HAPPIER about that, I'm damn near downright GIDDY about it ! FML......)

He's saying he's doing this in the public interest, and yet, he's giving interviews and shit, and now his Pops is making demands and riders and waivers about the conditions on which he will be coming back to America...

If I was Barack, I'd say "SURE BUDDY !come on back, ALL is forgiven! Honest ! I got a welcome home package just WAITING for ya!!!....though, if it were me, it just very well could be a package that was ticking...lol

Seriously people, Snowden isn't telling anyone who is clued in anything they don't ALREADY KNOW. It is simply, if at best, putting a product label with the ideology and concepts we've all known to exist, for many, many years...

The only people that seem, in ANY way shocked about this, are those people who managed, somehow, with SUPERHUMAN EFFORT, to tear themselves away from their beloved suckling of TV for a second, or, because someone texted or tweeted something to them about it. Hell, maybe they saw it Trending Now and figured they'd check it out...lmfao !

So...anyway, thanks Ed for exposing our country, and needlessly putting lives in danger. You're a REAL HERO...no, not really. ...you're a fucking narcissistic TERRORIST, and I can't WAIT til the Feds get a hold of you. I GUARANTEE you'll WISH you were in Guantanamo !

I have to wonder this very important thought. What would he think, if it was HIS family standing next to the wastebasket at the Boston Marathon...would he have the same ideals then...?

Me? Yeah my family lives near Boston. My family had a FUN day worrying about the welfare of our loved ones until, many hours later, we learned everyone was okay...I'm telling you, it's NOT a position you EVER want to find yourselves in...

So anyway, good luck with your travels Ed. Try fucking over or crossing the Chinese or Russian governments next and see where THAT gets ya! I guarantee the same exact place if he ever tries to step foot back here again...

In a fucking body bag....

So how do I summarize this? I guess I just really don't give a shit what the government monitors of mine. If they want my hard drive, I'll hand it over willingly. If they want to listen to my conversations about me taking my Mom to Wal Mart, or how she loves chocolate shakes, or how riveting and shocking it is that I call my wife to tell her that I love her, or that I'm constantly sending her love notes and texts all day....or that I look at pictures of comic books on Facebook, or that I write radical blogs....muahaha !!!

Simply put, I have nothing to hide, and I'm unashamed of anything I've done. If anyone else is like that, I would venture to think, that they have nothing to worry about either - so they can blissfully and ignorantly stay plugged in to The Matrix, with their TV remotes firmly locked in their grasp.

Right Now...I believe, our Government has other things to do...

Right Now...I'm done.

-J

#thematrixisreal

The Paula Deen Thing...

The Paula Deen Thing...

I'm not really sure if this is going to qualify as a Blog entry or not, as I'm not sure what all I can say about this, but I'll give it a try...

See, for as much as I DO NOT CONDONE THE USE OF THE N WORD FOR ANY REASON AT ANY TIME, I, for the LIFE of me, cannot even BEGIN to attempt to demonize, or vilify Paula Deen for what she said.

Why? Because she said it 27 YEARS ago, and I believe in the power of Forgiveness, so that's ONE reason, but that's not the most IMPORTANT one, those are to follow. BTW I just gotta ask, how many of you reading this can remember what YOU said 30 years ago, verbatim? Just sayin...

In any case, while I believe that her ends do NOT justify her means, if anyone is being REALISTIC about this issue, we need to start analyzing this from the beginning..

A person has the RIGHT NOT TO LIKE ANY person, group, socio-economic class, gender or entity as MUCH as they want, WHEN they want, and HOW they want. Welcome to America! You're free, I'm free, we're all free ! Right....? (try not to think of the NSA right now, just stay with me for a moment, ok?)

However, IF a person elects to do so, they MUST be prepared for the backlash / repercussions that stem directly from it ! Even if it means their world gets unraveled, or, they face a personal crisis, or in Paula's case - complete meltdown-level type destruction. She's reaping what she's sown...

A quick sidebar -

What I find interesting about this entire scenario, please mark it down that you heard it here FIRST.

In about a year or two's time, America, having the Attention Deficit Disorder of an infant, such that it does, will forgive her as soon as she becomes "hip, and in, or retro" in our pathetic minds. Then, once again, she will rise to glory, and be given her own show once more, free to kill us by butter and cholesterol all over again! She'll have a LifeTime movie, we'll all cry, we'll cheer her 1st show when she comes back on TV...Don't fret kids, it's GONNA happen! Trust me!

I mean, come on, we live in a land where everyone (somehow - I'm still scratching my head on it myself) seemingly has forgiven Michael Vick for the BUTCHERY HE committed !

Hell, at least " Sweet Innocent Paula" has never MURDERED anyone or anything - she just hates black people! That's not so bad is it? =)

End sidebar -

Now the BIG thing that really burns my ass about this entire situation is simply this - civilized society, and, the majority of African Americans ALL universally believe that the "N" word is a HURTFUL word, a DEROGATORY word, an IGNORANT word, right ??

It is a word that solicits memories of a cruel, disdainful, hurtful and barbaric time - a complete blemish or imbruing of American History. A time when innocent people of color were kidnapped, tortured, raped, lynched, and MURDERED simply for the hatred of color of their skin...right ??

It's so odd to me...I'm sitting here thinking, this woman had her entire world DESTROYED by people saying she was the DEVIL for saying this word, under duress (with a gun to her head?) 27 YEARS AGO!  The people who condemn her say, this word is hurtful, painful, and it's just so INCREDIBLY, HORRIBLE that she EVER even THINK of using it - EVER. It is THE most EVIL and HATEFUL thing a person can EVER even DO, THINK, or SAY...THAT is EXACTLY the kind of treatment this woman IS RECEIVING RIGHT NOW...

Ironically enough, I have a hard time remembering what I had for breakfast a day ago, lest remember what occurred once, nearly 3 decades ago...still, that's no excuse! Let's tie her Southern ass to the stake ! Yes, I'm being snarky, but you get the concept here....follow the bouncing ball...

Now, flash forward, those VERY same people who absolutely DENOUNCE her character, her SOUL, her entire BEING are EXACTLY the same people that in that VERY SAME BREATH will go out and purchase the new Jay-Z album, or whatever the rap-de-jour album of the day is, where that person will use the word LIBERALLY a THOUSAND times a second and gets paid MILLIONS of dollars, and that person gets GLORIFIED and REVERED for their "incredible and amazing talent and lyrcal ability". Why, I even heard one amazing hip hop star being called "the songwriter / lyricist of our generation!" Amazing........

It's like, when I think of these guys, I stop to wonder, what kind of "oppression" did that rap star face? What kind of diamond rings to wear that day? What kind of car to drive? What kind of restaurant to dine in ? What club to go to that night ? Trust me kids, these clowns did NOT suffer, they did not bleed under the crack of cruel razor whips, their ANCESTORS DID.

So, to string this thought along, and to connect the dots, my question is, if it's so EVIL to even WHISPER about, what makes it ok for African American people to STILL USE that word at ALL ? The reason why - I'm being told, and I COMPLETELY disagree with this - is that people like Flava Flav, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor - seemingly ALL "OWN" the word - get this, simply because they're BLACK and that they CAN, and because of that, and that alone, they should be FREELY allowed to use that word as much as they want at will with NO repercussions of ANY kind - no Al Sharpton marching on a movie studio, no Jesse Jackson Million Man Marches to storm the capital of Def Jam Records, NOTHING like that. It's considered PERFECTLY NORMAL and ACCEPTABLE, because OF the color of THEIR skin and they have the RIGHT to use it whenever and however they want...they have complete and total LIFETIME IMMUNITY..... ???????


************ WRONG !!!!!! ************

So to clarify this - It's WRONG for any NON-African person to use that word in any context because it's hurtful, demeaning and horrifically and morally wrong, but it's PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE for an African person to use it as a "term of endearment" as much as they want to ?

Has our country, and our brainpower degenerated so LOW to a point of being nearly, and completely fucking FLATLINED so much that we don't even have TWO SYNAPSES left to fire to think, even for ONE SECOND that saying that word, at ANY time in ANY FORUM is NOTHING LESS than COMPLETELY unacceptable??? Since when did saying the N word become a JOKE???

I would love that rap star to tell that to my wonderful, kind, warm high school gym coach who was attacked and BRANDED with a cattle iron on BOTH FUCKING ARMS by the KK FUCKING K - A joke !!!????

You people that believe so, honest to God, move to an island, chop your dicks off, and go sterilize yourselves or something, because quite simply - you shouldn't be allowed to fucking BREED. Seriously!

Let me break down my previous sarcastic analogy - In REALITY, This is called A DUAL STANDARD !!! A DUAL FUCKING STANDARD. Point blank. Period. The END ! Your argument is INVALID.

If ANYONE who DOES have a problem with Paula's actions, or ANYONE who is of a similar mind, they need to stop and consider the fact that either there MUST BE EQUALITY ACROSS THE BOARD AND LET BOTH SIDES DO EXACTLY AS THEY WANT TO, ***OR***, THEY THEMSELVES are GOING TO BE ETERNALLY DEEMED A FUCKING HYPOCRITE and deserve NOTHING but the right to SHUT THE FUCK UP and STOP THROWING STONES and continue to live in the IGNORANT-DUAL-STANDARD-SHALLOW-FOOLISH WORLD THEY EXIST IN !

(AGAIN, TO REITERATE THAT I DO NOT CONDONE WHAT SHE DID. I SIMPLY BELIEVE IN WHAT IS RIGHT AND PRACTICING COMPLETE EQUALITY FOR ALL PEOPLE, AT ALL TIMES)

I AGREE that a Network, a company, a TV station, a product has EVERY right to associate themselves with a person however they see fit, so they are right for doing what they thought was the right thing to do, and what they believed in. But don't mistake, for ONE minute, that the reasons that they did so were for ANY ALTRUISTIC means, or beliefs that persons of color ARE and SHOULD ALWAYS BE EQUAL! Rather, that they wanted to fucking KOWTOW to their stockholders and shareholders, and cover their asses when every VFW in the state AND Al Sharpton show up on their front doorsteps to boycott their OWN business, leaving THEM bankrupt, holding up the "Will Work for Food" signs standing right NEXT to her....

But on a bastardly note, I have to chuckle and wonder - if you DO have to hold up a "Will Work For Food" sign, at least you'd have HER to cook for ya, so hey, that's a little silver lining for ya! Who says I can't be cheery when I want to ? =)

I digress - THE POINT that I was trying  to make here is THIS - *** THE WORD IN EVERY FORM IS IGNORANT AND MORALLY WRONG AND SHOULD BE BANISHED IN ALL FORMS, AND IN ALL MEDIA EQUALLY. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO "OWNING" THE WORD. GONE. PERMANENTLY FROM ALL RECORDED MEMORY, WANT, OR DESIRE TO USE IT - EVER AGAIN IN THE HISTORY AND FUTURE OF ALL MANKIND.***

And yet, it's not.....

Why....... ???

I believe it is because we live in an absolutely ignorant, finger pointing, overwhelmingly hypocritical, shallow country. A country that in many ways, is on the verge of becoming a third world country IN THE CONTEXT OF ITS MINDSET, VALUES, PRIORITIES AND ACTIONS, it headed towards a permanent cesspool...

That's a fact...we're on an express elevator to Hell, go-in DOWN !

I am VERY ashamed of the path this country has taken. The values it places on erroneous, mindless pursuits, people, places, hypocrisy and petty things.

I wish, in my dreams, for that is the only place I know that I will ever live to see them - that as Dr. Martin said, that I live in a land where everyone, and everything IS TRULY EQUAL, and things like morals, and intelligence, actually HAVE value and MEAN something again...

Forgiveness. Love. Tolerance .Respect. Understanding. Compassion. Intelligence.

Where are they ... ??

I close this by saying... "Let he who is without sin.... ______"

I'm done.

-J

Fathers...

This is my father. His name was Joseph Henry Foster. I'm named after him, the 3rd in our family to proudly share this name. 

This is the greatest man I've ever known, and today, on this most very special of days, my thoughts are of him, and I'd like to share with you the reasons why...

Many of you, my friends that have known me for many years already know some of what I'm about today, most of you are not, and I feel that is something I'd like to share, and to tell you about the kind of man he was...

All of my life - all of it - every moment, all I have ever known of this man, is someone who was devastated and ravaged by an illness - Emphysema, the touch of Satan, is what I call it. 

What is Emphysema ? Emphysema is a disease that destroys the tissues needed to allow normal lung functions. Simply put, the man could not breathe. He the capacity of 1/3 of one lung, my entire life. 

He got this because, when he was younger, his idol was the "cool" James Dean, who walked around with a cigarette permanently hanging out of his mouth, as he and his friends tried to emulate. They were not aware of the dangers or damage of smoking. Awareness was not what it is today. He did not learn any better until it was far too late...he tried, but it was too late....my mother, thankfully, was able to give up that wicked habit. Thankfully, as a boy, seeing what it did to my Father, I had no problem finding mom's pack, and flushing every last of those cancer sticks down any nearby toilet I could find. She was so mad, but I didn't care. Every time she would yell at me, I would cry, but I kept doing it. I never stopped until she gave it up, for good. Thank you God !

Back then when I was a boy, just coming into this world, things were not the same as they are today. Hospitals were not kind to children, my earliest memories were spent in these cold, unfeeling places, being smuggled in my big brother Brian's jacket just to even be able to fight for the right to see my own father...

On another occasion, I remember Brian and his friends made a human ladder, that I climbed to stand on top of their shoulders, to be able to look into a 2nd story window, just to be able to see my father's face, and wave, to tell him I loved him...he and my mother saw me, completely surprised, and probably wondering how EXACTLY I was able to get up there. I remember seeing my fathers face, in that hospital bed, completely LIGHTING UP seeing me, and he smiled, and waved as the bigger boys were just able to hold me up long enough, then set me back down.

I didn't want to leave...I wanted to see my Dad...

There were so many other occasions like that, that during my lifetime, I have truly lost count...I've seen enough hospitals to last 10 lifetimes... 

I say the things I tell you now, because I would like everyone to know, that despite the odds he was given, this is a man, that, in my entire lifetime, never complained, never cursed his life, or blamed God, or felt sorry for himself ONCE. 

Not ONE word. EVER. Before God, I swear to you, I never heard him utter one word of complaint...

Every single day of his life was a battle. A struggle to survive. Every step he took, every move he made, was a war - just to be able to have the ability to BREATHE !

He had EVERY reason to give up! To quit. To reject the beauty of LIFE, but he NEVER did ! That was NOT an option! His strength and determination, and his WILL to live, would NOT allow it...

I tell you this, that despite his condition, this is also a man, that during the blizzards and harsh winters in New Jersey, battled through this crippling condition, to will himself be out in the field, to provide EXCELLENT Surveying responsibilities for his company, and to be able to provide for his family, and put food on our table. 

Despite all of this, this man was so highly regarded in his company, the owner of the company wrote him a personal letter telling him that he was the BEST employee he had, and that he could never be replaced. 

You see, as the years passed, the weather became a little harder than he could bear, so to help his health, he and Mom decided to pack up and to head for the Sunshine State, and ultimately Spring Hill.

A funny side story, how that they chose Spring Hill, a decision that would ultimately shape my own destiny...

During their search for a home, and I remember this vividly, we were driving around for hours, trying to, as he always did - survey the landscape. They both wanted me to have the very BEST of everything. Everything had to be PERFECT  to raise their family. They wanted to have a beautiful place to live, but it also had to have good schools, and a friendly community to live in. These things were constantly on their mind. 

So, in their search one day, we were driving for what seemed like hours...and as time passed, Nature had it's own way of calling, and as I smile sitting here typing this, Dad had to go "commune with nature" so, they parked the car at the top of a large hill, with what seemed like a perfect view.

I remember putting down my Cracked magazine and Nutter Butters and getting out to stretch my 8 year old legs to go look around for myself, and that's about when we ALL saw it !

I heard my Mother's voice first ! "Joe, look! A RAINBOW !" While I do know my Father was busy, off in the distance, I remember hearing him acknowledging that he had heard her too.

It would seem so, because once we all got back in our trust green Dodge, (I loved that car, the back seat was my own personal playground, littered with Star Wars toys, comics, and Nutter Butters, what more could a kid ask for - the new plan, was for us to FIND THE END OF THE RAINBOW !

I WANT to say I even heard Dad, and let me tell you, this man had (despite his condition) an AMAZING voice, singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" as we happily set off for our destination, which, as fate would have it, would wind up being Spring Hill - a place I have called home since that very day, in 1978.

Years passed, and as he got older, his condition deteriorated, he - as he always did, made the very best of it as best as he could, by engrossing himself with two of his other loves, his Bible, and his great passion for the game of Baseball.

My father....I don't know anyone who ever loved baseball more. He knew everything about every team, every player, all the stats, you name it. He had actual encyclopedias and telephone book sized books about it on his tables by his bedside. Bibles and Baseball. That was my Dad. 

During my younger years, I know, it was his fondest wish to see me succeed as a player, and he did everything he could to encourage it. Only years later, did I come to understand, that no matter what I did, he would support it just the same. Still, baseball was his greatest love...

Many of my friends knew him. He would come to the games, and while he was not able to take part, as desperately as he wished to, (our games of catch would involve him throwing his glove at the ball if I made a bad throw, though, I do remember seeing him jump to catch it once...I felt so horribly for that...I can still see it in my mind all these years later..he did try to be involved in any way he could, to offer tips to the other kids, to keep score, to offer a friendly word, a hug, or be a friend to talk to, or to give advice, or sometimes, to just be a caring listener and supporter. 

I tried baseball for a few years, but it was never really my thing. I tried football too, and liked that better. Music was more my thing. Flash forward a few years, I remember the day I told him that I no longer wanted to play baseball.. That was his dream. I never wanted to hurt him, but I was so afraid he would be crushed...I don't know how I could have been so selfish. I know I must have hurt him that day........

But, to his credit, he just smiled and said it was okay, and it was my decision to decide what I wanted to do. And this, was a man who ALWAYS was a man who said exactly what he meant, and meant what he said - a motto I live by to this day...

I will never forget the day that he demonstrated this kind of complete, warm, and unselfish love for me....we were driving, for what seemed like an eternity...I asked Mom and Dad, "Where are we going?" and of course they would NOT tell me...Mom just kept saying, "It's a SURPRISE!" My family, we're BIG on "It's a SURPRISE!" kinda stuff...

So, I sat back, with a huge smile on my face, perfectly, blissfully oblivious to what was about to take place..

The car stopped.

I look out the window...my smile turning into the hugest grin I could have ever imagined....

Here we now were, parked directly outside...

of Thoroughbred Music....

Blinking, excitedly, confusedly, I could barely ask..."Why are we here...???" 

And I remember hearing those words....

"Go...choose"

.......... ???

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flinging the door open, I raced inside, happily cheering my ass off and picked out my first real piece of musical equipment, a Fender P bass. Because of their love, I was able to make so many wonderful memories with that guitar (including 40 foot tall chickens???)...I still have it, and cherish it to this day...

I remember years later, playing my first "concert" at the school. To me this was the BIG time. I made it ! He wanted to support me so badly. Mom was there, in the audience, cheering her son, but, try as hard he did, he was took sick to be able to go, but, we did videotape it for him so he could see it, and I remember, even though we were terrible, he watched it, cheering as loud as he was able to, acting just like our Bucs just won the SuperBowl. As we sat there on the couch, watching together, he smiled, crying, wiping away tears, and hugged me, and told me how amazing I was.

I believed him. I loved him, and I knew he loved me. He gave up on his dreams, and supported mine.

He loved me, and supported me, in everything I did. That's what kind of man he was.

That's a life lesson that I tried so hard, and patiently waited for, to never forget, and, to one day, try to emulate, in his memory.

Ultimately, after years of fighting with every ounce of strength in his now frail body, and displaying super human ability to to endure it all, he lost his battle with this horrific illness.

To this day, I still feel remorse about not growing up to be a better person, or to have listened to all the life lessons he tried to teach me, or to have listened to him more, and listened to the things he tried to say.

What I would not give, to be able to share things with him today, to learn from his incredible wisdom and spirit. To try to learn what it means to be a REAL man, a quiet, gentle, Christian man, like him.

I swore, that, as I watched, up on that hill at football practice, seeing him stand there, smiling approvingly at me, with an ice cold glass of Gatorade just waiting for me to cool off with - like he had for me after every practice, that I would someday get the chance to try to be a man, like he was, and to show someone how much I care, and to try to be the best person they could be, like he did for me. I wanted to be THAT kind of father...

Now, with God's kindness, I finally got that chance, and every day, my eyes awaken as a blessed man.

I have my own amazing daughter now. He would have loved you Celena. I know he does now. He would adore Kayla. He would have loved all of you, my amazing family. In my mind, and my dreams, I have often wondered what that would be like...warm and beautiful thoughts, so painful to think about, fill my heart....

Dad, we speak often, so I know that you have already heard me tell you this - I know now, that no matter how long that I may live, I will never be you, or be able to possess your strength and spirit, but just know I will never give up trying to succeed, and to live my life by your example. I will always try, and I will never give up. I will always find a way...like you did.

I may not have been listening then, but I am learning, and with every day that passes, I will always try harder to learn and do more, to be a good man that you could be proud of, and to show you the honor you have always deserved to receive from me....

I never forgot the last thing you told me was, and that's something I now, will always do. I heard you my father....

Until the day comes when we're together again, just know, as Jesus knows, we love you, always.

We haven't forgotten, and will always remember the man you were, and the man you are in my heart.

My Father, my protector, and my best friend, you forever remain,

Your Son loves you....

Joe

Welcome to Words...by Joe Foster - an Introduction !

Hi all !

Well, here I am, late at night, sitting down to put the proverbial pen to digital paper!

For a long time now, many of you (that were kind enough to survive my ramblings), suggested I try my hand at writing something, and for years, I've kind of put it on the back burner.

Lately, with your kindness, I've decided I might actually give it a try.

I'm thinking, at some point in the future, I may decide to write a small book, purely for fun, though I'm not sure what style it will be in - self help, fiction, it could be anything.

As I mentioned before, I'm trying very hard to adjust to a complete shift in character and mindset, and place more emphasis in living for the day, and not "thinking" so much, and so deeply, about everything.

Try as I might though, I simply can't shut everything down - entirely. Ultimately, thoughts do linger in my mind, especially considering I am still a current events / news junkie.

So, instead of attempting to clutter my friends Facebook Newsfeeds, I thought, as a precursor to any attempt of literary dabbling - if any, is to be had, I'd best keep my thoughts delegated to this forum.

So, this means, if I have the need to tee off on any particular subject, this is how I'll choose to do it, so you, my friends / followers, can choose to read it here, and off your NewsFeeds, or not, and, maybe, get a little writing practice in during the process.

Please do know though, by coming here, you may as well see the sign hanging above the door that says EXACTLY THIS - "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here" because this forum is going to have EXCLUSIVELY ZERO FILTER. I may keep it tame, I may drop a billion F bombs at will. I will not, under ANY circumstance edit myself. From brain to mouth to paper. Deal with it.

Subject matter here can, and WILL be adult in nature. It will also be completely randomized. I could be discussing world affairs one minute, get an ADD attack and be distracted by shiny objects, and discuss my love for baskets full of kittens the next. Simply put, this page is my therapy, and my "release valve" Well, at least the one I CAN share publicly =)

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way, on with the show! Once I get some sleep, I already have my first topic picked out...

Stay tuned ! Till tomorrow !

Much Zen, Much Love !

-J